Be Authentic, Embrace Your Inner Dork

by Nicole Mangina on March 2, 2009

Yes, there are lots of classes out there that will tell you how to classify people according to their personalities so that you can better relate to them.  I don’t know about you, but every time I have taken one of those classes I end up with so much information in my head that I am trying to apply while talking to a client that everything just becomes really awkward and stiff.  The end result ends up being no real rapport or bond in the relationship and quite often I end up feeling like I am trying to ‘sell’ somebody something or ‘close a deal’.  Well I don’t know about you, but just typing those phrases makes my skin crawl.  We have certainly all been on the receiving end of working with someone like that and for me all I want to do is end the experience as fast as I possibly can!

So here is a different twist.  Before you start worrying about the other person, just show up and be yourself.  Yes, you must dress professionally and yes you must be technically competent.  But beyond that your number one job is to be yourself.  For me that happens to mean that underneath it all, I’m a complete dork.  Fortunately as we get older being a dork can be cool so luckily that has worked out for me thus far. 

What are the benefits of being yourself rather than trying to fit into some mold created for you by someone else?  You are more relaxed, which means you are better able to relay your points, you form an instant and much stronger bond with your clients and everything just starts to be more fun after that.  You can relate to people not just professionally but also personally.  Also, if you are at ease you will be better able to relate to your clients and pick up their subtle clues to determine what their needs are and how best to serve them.

Let’s be real, we are selling real estate.  People today are much too sophisticated to be ‘closed’ on a house.  Either they want it or they don’t and if they don’t then move on.  After all chances are they only need one home at the moment so they can not like a whole lot of them and still accomplish their goals.

And what about those personality types that you didn’t bond with?  Let them go.  There is enough business for everyone.  While I find this hard to believe, there are people out there that just don’t like me.   But it turns out that more often than not, I don’t like them either.  Some personalities just don’t mix so why try to turn yourself into someone that you are not?  Just agree to disagree and walk away.  Feeling a bit scared about that?  Like maybe you really need that commission check right now so it might be worth putting up with the stress in your life of a client that is frustrating to deal with?  Nothing is worth that.  You can sell twice the number of homes if you are in flow with the people you are working with and not being drained by a bad personality match.  Take this one step further and pull up how many sales were in your MLS last year.  In King County which is where I do most of my work there were 21,554 sales recorded in 2008.  Assuming that there was a buyer and a seller commission paid on each of those properties there were 43,108 commissions paid last year.  My goal is to sell 30 properties which is a miniscule speck compared to the total number of properties sold and commissions paid.  So why stress about the people that I just don’t click with?  My job is to find the 30 that I do click with and go from there.  Give it a try and see how much better you feel.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Teresa Olson March 6, 2009 at 10:57 pm

Nicole, What perfect timing for the article I just decided not to work with a cutomer that I have spent hours driving around and at the beginning felt they were not providing me with open communitican and basic informtion that as a realtor needed to provide them with good service. This was very hard to let go knowing that every transaction is very important this year. I know letting go of this burden with fee me up to positive people that I enjoy working with. Thank you Nicole for this blog!

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